My Favorite Things

(AARP Parody)

Words & Music:

Richard Rogers & Oscar Hammerstein III

New Lyrics:  unknown


This was sent along by correspondent Mac Gienke.  (Thanks, Mac!)  "To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.  One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie The Sound Of Music. Here are the lyrics she used:"  Same chords as the original version, of course.


Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, 

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.


Cadillac's and cataracts ,and hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.


When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.


Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, 

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, 

These are a few of my favorite things.


Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin', 

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin', 

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, 

When we remember our favorite things.


When the joints ache, When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had, 

And then I don't feel so bad


Back to the Songbook Index.

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